The Miniature American
Hippopotamus: a distinct breed, or merely the result of
a vitamin deficiency? Should it be disqualified from Best of
Breed? The facts, the controversy, the love of these special
harB is hiking the Pacific Crest Trail
Recently, harB and his grampa decided to get in shape and they took off to hike the Pacific Crest Trail.
You can follow their progress here:
harB goes to Crane to cheer on the Golden Cranes
Recently (November 2),
harB took a trip with his Grampa to go see the football game between the Crane
Golden Cranes and the Alpine Fightin' Bucks. HarB
cheered for Crane, of course, since that's his adopted High School football
in the Permian Basin. When they threw little
plastic sports balls into the stands, harB caught a miniature soccer ball, which
he will cherish as long as he lives.
After the game was concluded with a victorious score of
27-0, harB went down onto the field to celebrate with a few blasts on a horn,
with help from an admiring band member, who will probably never wash that
mouthpiece again, since harB blew into it.
Then he went over to pose with the cheerleaders, who are obviously the cutest cheerleaders in Texas, if not the entire world. The teens are well-behaved as well as talented in Crane, as was demonstrated by the cheerleaders not fighting for the prestigious position of center of the picture, holding harB. They quietly drew straws for the honor.
harB was planning to go see the Golden Cranes when they played the game to win state - we just knew they were going to - but it was a tough year, so he just sent a nice card and some flowers.
harB goes to Vegas!
But harB didn't break the bank - he just ran up his winnings to a million or so, and then went to the blackjack table and deliberately lost enough to break even. He knows that it isn't fair to win when you have an advantage.
When harB had his fill of gambling like a wild man, he talked grampa and gramma into taking him to the Star Trek Museum at the Las Vegas Hilton. There, he got to view Captain Kirk's original TV uniform, and various models of phasers used in the TV series and movies.
He also got to meet some of the characters, who were delighted to get to pose with harB instead of all those silly tourists and Trekkies. And harB helped out by showing the green guy how to properly grip his war club. The other guy is the salt sucker from the first season. Incidentally, the salt and pepper shakers they were going to use in that episode turned out to be too exotic, so they used them for Bones' medical instruments instead, in a later episode. harB can tell you all about that stuff.
finish up the day in style, harB treated Grampa and Gramma to an exotic
drink in Quark's bar, eventually followed by a nice snack of fried
Cardassian Sea Slugs and chips. Cardassian Sea Slugs are wonderful with
tartar sauce, by the way. And our Ferengi waiter.... believe it
or not they actually smell worse in person than they do on television.
But don't tell them I said that.
harB with the cast of Wee Care
we see harB posing with the cast of Wee Care,
which was produced by Midland Community Theatre, and was then
used as the contest entry by that prestigious theatre. It
advanced to state, but then it was knocked out of the competition by
judges who obviously had no taste.
Back row - Chaston Rankin, John Lyle and Nick Corralez
Front row: Cody Tumlin (the director), Jena Tumlin, Hilary Evitt, and Tracy Alexander.
Wee Care, which was written by harB's grampa, stars John Lyle as Lance, Nick as Greg, Jena as Andi, Hilary as Lindsey, and Tracy as Mother Lott. It is directed by the talented but modest Cody Tumlin.
Notice that harB managed to get closest to the fabulous
babes. You can't blame him. If you got it, use it.
harB at MuMmers!
Here we see harB carefully opening, shaping and
preparing a popcorn bag to be filled the next day with delicious and healthful
popcorn, which could possibly even be consumed by a MuMmers patron, but which
will most likely be thrown at another patron by the person who buys it. Enormous
amounts of popcorn are sold each night during MuMmers.
Over to the right we see harB flirting with the friendly T-shirt girl in the lobby of the Yucca. She likes for harB to hang around the T-shirt concession, because when people see harB, they get this mysterious urge to buy a T-shirt or MuMmers trinket of some kind. It isn't all that mysterious - you see harB, you figure he's buying or endorsing the product, and you arrive at the inescapable conclusion that what harB buys is what everybody ought to buy. You can't argue with good taste, you see.
But where harB really gets going is backstage. Below, you can see harB dancing with the can-can girls. He can can-can with the can-can girls almost as well as the can-can girls can can-can. That's him, right in the middle - the girls just love harB! And how does he get over his natural shyness? Why, he sneaks a sip or two from somebody's margarita mug, of course!
Even the biggest MuMmer celebrities are anxious to pose with ol' harB, as you can see with this photo of the harBinator getting ready to perform the Mule Train number during the Olio, a famous tradition at Summer Mummers for years and years. Yes, that's Tim to the left here, possibly the greatest and most famous of all Mule Trainers to ever hit the stage, other than harB himself.
And speaking of Mule Trainers, if there is one person in the Melodrama that is universally loved and adored, it would have to be the heroine, in this case, the lovely and talented Gidget Gadget, played by the equally lovely and talented Hilary, seen here adoring the lovely and talented harB. Hilary is also a famous radio personality, listened to by her fans across the Permian Basin.
So here's harB hanging around with still other celebrities. To the right we see him discussing acting technique with the villain's sidekick and with MuMu, aka "the Big Mama." If you've been visiting this website regularly, you'll probably recognize MuMu as harB's gramma. And immediately below you can see harB sipping surreptitiously from grampa's mug, as he waits for his big entrance as the Big Kahuna. It's fun being in MuMmers, and it's great being a hippo in show business!
harB visits Colorado
harB just came back from an exciting and educational trip to Colorado, where he visited a gold mine (they wouldn't let him in, because he had a certain look in his eye, and you know how harB can be when he gets ideas), some historic homes and buildings, some geological wonders such as the Garden of the Gods and the Royal Gorge, and some great hiking trails.
Here we see the harBinator posing coyly but exactly on
the Continental Divide. He is facing east, so if he sneezes or spits it will
eventually end up in the Atlantic ocean. We won't talk about how the Pacific
ocean is involved...
harB cruises on down!
harB recently enjoyed a great, relaxing cruise on the Caribbean seas. Here you see him socializing with his fellow guests on the Grandeur of the Seas, enjoying a drink or two, singing at the piano bar, and just having a general good time. harB made a stop at Cozumel, and while he didn't get a much-coveted spot on the stingray city excursion, he did make a new friend, Stella the Stingray. She's too shy to have her picture taken, but trust me, she's cute.
You may be fascinated to know that harB recently moved to Midland with Grandma and Grandpa. It's nice there, and harB loves to climb the nice Sweet Gum tree in the backyard, which is displaying its lovely and fragrant fall foliage in this photo. Miniature American Hippos like to climb trees, unlike the African variety.
harB is also actively involved in the local community
theatre, but hasn't managed to get cast in any shows. The problem is that they
have a costume dept., and none of their costumes fit ol' harB. So he'll have to
remain content to volunteer as an usher. Show 'em where to sit, harB!
To see more of harB, visit the
harB archives page!